Pinay Going Dutch: For my little Tinee-Winnee

Now for an official announcement just so everyone can be aware- I'm pregnant and already on my 34th week (how exciting!)
Pregnancy was to begin with, a challenging phase that I juggled together with my ongoing integration process here in the Netherlands. The last few months were quite difficult but in the long run, I managed to shrug off all the negative energies and focus instead on the best thing yet to come. Sometimes I still can't really believe it, I am carrying a child! As I ponder about it with my husband, we can only feel some sort of amazement and that made us feel grateful to have been blessed with this special bundle of joy soon to arrive in our lives. We can't be more prouder to say , " Our family is finally complete!"
In this note, let me share to you the poem I've made about our baby. For now she is called - 'Tinee Winee' because it is a common habit in Holland to keep the baby's actual name until he/she is born :). I've just experimented with poetry writing in line with a course i'm following now about Poetry and Mindfulness. 
Hope you enjoy my poetry. Please feel free to leave a comment below at your heart's desire! 

Pinay Going Dutch: For my little Tinee-Winnee: cough, colds and   flu- is how it started off and who would ever knew ? from there emerges, your tiny existence -completely blew me off ...

For my little Tinee-Winnee

cough, colds and   flu-
is how it started off
and who would ever knew ?
from there emerges, your tiny existence
-completely blew me off !

then my senses all went haywire
as suddenly, I began to smell
something... beyond... foul...
that i'd rather step on a barbed wire!

and with  those two red stripes-
you unveiled the curtain
on that dipping stick-
there it goes!
hundred percent certain!

As soon as your future dad found out,
on his face-curved a happy little grin

and for me... 

who is your mum to be... 

It's a  roller coaster.
 from within.

Hence my craving changes,
from week after week.
and on a daily basis,
I would rather feel weak.

my energy ,all drained
hitting rock-bottom low.
strain,  stress; 

As inside me,
like a bolt of lightning,
you grow.                              

more than that-
there's emotional exhaustion,
where your mommy felt-
she's at her lowest proportion

fingers crossed.
that you hear not,

those evenings- 

she weeps
and fears a lot.

but on a bright note
have you also heard?
mummy's sweet, excited voice
delightly calling: 'Tineee.... Winneee...'
well I hope,   for you ...
it's not a  disturbing noise!

but nonetheless
my little tinee winnee

your mummy and daddy
just can't  wait to see you
in a jiffy!

and the truth, all our space-
we allow you- to conquer!
and the  time of your arrival ,
is all we've sought after!

Soon...
In the outside world...
mummy will push you out
which may be painful, so to speak
beyond the shadow of a doubt!

But after all-
Mummy can bravely sustain 

As there is no guts , 

There is no glory

And where there is no pain 

There's no wonderful gain

for most mom -to-be's
labor must be-
God's hateful punishment
though your  mum disagrees,

for  it is indeed---nature's most-
intriguing entity
where something , widely understood
as soft.. as gentle..as  femininity
puts every woman to the highest pedestal
when she ultimately delivers a new-born
isn't that, intensely PHENOMENAL!

hence, from now on
time is ticking
and not for long enough-
water finally breaks...
ripe for its picking!
how can it be,
that's creation's mysterious wonder,
unimaginable, never explainable
if one would ever ponder
but for me, as a mother
there is just one special thing
it is - pure love 
surpassing anything else.
nothing ever.

life's mysteries,
may remain to be unsolved.
but for a mother like me,
well,  it can be resolved!
for however illogical it may sound
the first glance at your child
is overwhelmingly profound!

in  full-stop. 

The world will come.

that moment, 

beautiful tinee winnee-
seeks refuge 

in my bosom.
and from there 

I will reach 

full understanding-
of LOVE.

above all
coming in full circle
never- ending.... 

Chasing my Passion

I know...  it has been a looonng time.  I was out of circulation due to the many distractions and happenings in my Dutch life lately but now I am back! I hope that you will allow me to reroute my writing topic to something else and  give a break to 'the opposites game' ( promise to give you more something vs something soon) . The text that you will read below was part of the application I sent for an online job. I was asked to write about my passion and at the beginning, I couldn't think of anything to write about. Why?  because I think I left all my passion behind together with the rest of the other things I did not manage to pack in my luggage (sob sob). The new environment I am in now brought about new perspectives and insights. In truth, it has been a painful learning experience due to the fact that I feel like going through the excruciating process of  unlearning, relearning and starting off from scratch. I felt I have nothing left in me. I cannot express my feelings because my Dutch is still F*/& poor. I think too Asian and too Undutch. I am not qualified to teach in the eyes of the Dutch Educational System. No one can even dare to hire me as a Nanny because I don't even know how to change diapers (wahh!) I asked myself, am I from now on stuck as the wife of --- Not that I am not happy to be a wife to my loving husband but I feel there is more to do than manage the household chores. Anyway before I drive you crazy with my moans, I'll stop. (Emo button off) 

This writing really helped  me because I realise that no matter how  much struggles I am facing now, still I am standing tall  and more than that, I have chased and found my passion. I hope that you will enjoy reading my new post! 

I have never grasped the true meaning of passion until now. Before,  I just merely equated it into something I loved to do. Passion as how I thought of it ,  was about the things we  found pleasure  in doing. If that clearly defined passion then I should have done the things I was mostly fond of- traveled to new places around the globe or immersed myself in world literature, history and the visual arts. Maybe I should have devoted myself  to Latin dance or to a  lifetime career of  teaching.  What if suddenly   the channels to do those things were taken away from me? Which, is the struggle that  I am now going through. Now, as I am  miles away from my native roots, home and  family, my identity has just been shoveled down under the grave.  Without  privileges, I have been stripped off of my  freedom to do what I loved the most. Above all, fear engulfed me and  I have  completely  lost track of my comfort zone and sense of purpose. Out of devastation I called,  ‘Where art thou passion?’

My passion  left me. While  paranoid thoughts suggested  that I forgot to pack it in my luggage before departure. At the highest peak of misery, I could choose between two things - allow fear to completely swallow me in one whole or  train myself to  let go of everything I feared to lose. I have decided to do the most unthinkable. On top of my out-of-tune voice I blurted out- ‘Let it go! So I have chosen to chase down my  passion like what my strong gut feeling reminded me, “ Catch it! It is just  hiding somewhere, playing hard to get”

So one fine day I was set to  begin the  journey in search of my passion . In my own little way, I picked up the remaining will and determination I had to protect myself from the growing army of insecurities and negative thoughts.  Embraced  with the most inspiring thought -  ‘Never play small’ , borrowed from the revolutionary vision of Nelson Mandela: ‘There is no passion to be found playing small--in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. So off I went with an ambitious mission to find  my passion.

Miraculously, I  have found it again- my passion! Out of random musings, I was reunited with my long lost friend. It happened upon drawing my attention outside our flat. There I saw  a   ‘fietspad’ (bike path) like a red-colored sticky  tape, stretched out as long as  550 meters wide. Staring at it brought my  imagination to the african wilderness.  I daydreamed   what it would be like to dash my feet along those long path and stride as fast as I could so as to outrun a swift and hungry cheetah.One tricky path,  I contemplated but running could be an escape  to the  hopelessness of my situation. Me, myself, I and the harsh of reality. Take the challenge? Challenge taken was my response so literally I was like Forrest Gump.  I began to run and quite amazingly, I felt the warmth embrace of passion.  

Of course it did not happen  in one sway of a magical wand. As I have said, passion has  a  bashful, not-too-easy-to-get attitude. The evidence was clear on my first run attempts that were  epic failures. On  my very first  few tries , I came home asthmatic, gasping for breath but I was too shameful to say ‘ mission abort’.  Instead, I pushed on. After all , I played a bit of reverse-psychology game. My weaknesses, no matter how exposed,  have  strengthened my defense mechanism. The longer I ran the more I kept pushing on my limits and in due course, it has become an effective self-help strategy. Ultimately,  I have learned the best lesson of all - to  face my fears and to conquer them . Even if  at some point, the image of  me being chased by wild jungle animals were replaced by an even terrifying image. That of a  giant monster molded in cold slithering wind snakes , stabbing my skin with their sharp rain tongues . Oh boy, those were real bad-ass bullies who kept  pushing me off  my limits. I just kept running as I focused my gaze a couple of meters ahead.  The key that I hold  onto is a positive spirit and  it  has kept me  going, no stops. I just have to  continue running.  

Now I am proud to say that I am finally reconciled to my passion. This time, it is  even in a better, upgraded version because it has not just shown me the path to survival but  more than that, it has  redirected to me to an even greater path- the path of which I can thrive. So where do you reckon this newfound passion will  take me? Let’s see,  I will just let it take the lead...

The opposite game part 3- precisie en snel vs langzaam en iutstellen

in English :  precision  speed ...s..l..o..w...m..o..t..i..o..n..  procrastination 

We are now on the third part of my infamous game called... (drum rolls please )  the opposites game!  Allow me to start it off moving back to Aesop's Fable about the Ant and the Grasshopper.
( If you are suddenly asking yourself - ' What is that story again? ' then just click on the title above)  

There goes  Aesop's story of the lazy Mr. Greengrass O'Hopper and  you must be wondering what happened next... So if you may,  I will carry on with  the actual events that indeed happened  to  O'hopper  after he realised 'the necessity of preparing ahead of winter' :

From a distance, he made a watchful survey of Aunty Ant's shelter that  had a full  stash of supplies. Slowly afterwards, his huge gaze turned towards the view of his empty home . Knowing his condition,  the green  creepy crawly was  no longer cheerful. All at once he became very sad but worse than that, he  felt  remorse then despair and worst of all, he felt  hunger.  His little stomach eagerly rumbled  so out of desperate measures, the once gracious grasshopper hovered carelessly into assiduous ant's place. He  took as much food as he could and gulped everything he had on his bare jumping legs! 

Scrunch. Gobble.  Nibble.  Swallow.

THAT made him  full,  complete and energetic. Once again the gracious grasshopper, keen to continue with his improvident ways maneuvered  to leave but then, this bulky-eyed green bug came into a silent halt. He was as still as ice,  staring at Aunty Ant whose wrath was imminent from her multi-layered eyes. Dropping to his thin green legs, poor O'hopper shivered in  flood of tears as he cried, "Forgive me Aunty Ant! I know nothing about winter until I start to live here because back in my homeland it was always sunny" 

Readers, I know that all of you are pointing your fingers to the miserable foreigner , Greengrass O'hopper and with no doubt consider him a victim of  his own predicament. Well what shall we say?   It is  the most unthinkable thing to do in the first place, to fly across the globe and for choosing among all the places-  the one with the harshest weather conditions. What else does this green insect would ever ask for?  When warmth is available all year round in the homeland he used to belong.

Although in truth , who are we to  blame Mr. Greengrass O'Hopper? Though with all due respect we know him well enough to label him the villain. Lazy. Bad influence. A thief caught in the act . But then again,  there is more than meets the eye as there are circumstances far-reaching than our eyes can visibly see.  Why did he decide to leave his native roots?  We do not know his real intention for setting foot on a foreign land as there could be one too many reasons . In fact, there are several  factors  that may have pushed him to leave. Maybe he is  in search for love, maybe  freedom  or perhaps  a risk-it-all adventure. Is he  just one plain, proof-risk lunatic?  

Greengrass O'hopperS. There are many of them. Here is one, writing this blog entry. All of us - O'hoppers are outsiders trying to fit in. Each one of us may have varying reasons for moving out but in commonality,  we all share a mutual understanding whilst beginning a new life in a foreign land. It is an understanding that is similar to opening a  package where we virtually unwrap manifolds of differences and opposites.  Yet right at the bottom of that package there is a surprising item waiting to be unfolded. Once this bonus item is found then an O'hopper's moment of  languishing is about to come to an end.   

So what is this hot item I just mentioned?  Let's  travel  way back to the history of mankind and revisit the  idea of natural selection. Remember how  Charles Darwin and his naturalist brotherhood society explored the existence primeval people, the cradle of mankind?  Like O'hoppers,  they also traveled from the African Savannah all the way to the north in search for 'greener pastures'. True enough,  they  left their homeland and opted to migration which was even of  greater risk during the prehistoric age that was 100,000 years ago.  That was epochs ago but still,  doesn't  that sound very legit?  Their move 'Out of Africa' according to sociobiologist J. Philippe Rushton opened new problems because in the  Eurasian regions where they settled in, the harsh climatic conditions posted greater demands.  The more they moved , the harder it was for them to get food, gain shelter, make clothes and raise children. Further to this, Professor Rushton identified the influence of geographical conditions to human intelligence as he elaborated in his book  ' Race, Evolution and Behaviour- A Life History Perspective'. He pointed out that climate differences influence mental abilities  hence in effect ,  the population of people who moved northwards became more inventive and developed complex survival methods . 

I cannot find the exact words to thank Mr. Rushton enough. His study is so relevant that it made my mental light bulb buzzed while I proclaimed, 'Eureka!' because I have definitely found the answer that I was looking for. I felt like stepping on gas pedals whist drawing nearer to the idea that  speed is strongly associated  to temperature. My verdict is that these variables are guilty of the crime : contrasting living conditions in tropical and maritime places. Don't get me wrong readers because I am not a pro like Professor Rushton or Charles Darwin so my analysis are not at par to their excellent academic standards. Just accept me more like a testing guinea pig because the bite of cold winter frost as well as  the blast of scorching summer heat- my skin felt both of those, enough  to validate my account of how temperature can affect speed. Upon deep contemplation, I am really convinced that those two variables are inversely correlated and from observation alone, I can attest that when the temperature falls down, speed accelerates. Take for instance how fast Europeans walk not because they have long legs  but also due to the fact that they are just made to move faster. On the contrary, a skyrocketing temperature enables speed to decelerate so you may well imagine the streets of Manila,  boiling hot in  35° Celsius and who would  ever  dare go race walking there?! no way! For a sweaty pinoy like me that  is obviously unfathomable. 

One other prominent figure is guilty and it is none other than Mr. Sunshine.    He is an impostor all along.   Come to think of it, this Mr. Sun is just a low-down , bastard ball of fire playing favorites at all times. He is shining more on one half of the globe and is shining less to the other half. That is just not fair.  All my life I have been deceived for thinking  he works hard like a farmer,  up and about at 6 am and exhausted by 6 pm. But no! He behaves differently on this side of the world. He is more  like an arrogant, expensive doctor who is only available for a 10 minute-consultation then after that God only knows when he will be available again. 

Due to this scarcity to warmth,  I realise that people at this side of the world adapted to a life of speed and precision. Technological breakthroughs were developed to make life convenient and efficient, or     fair enough, to make life bearable. In other words, people who moved northwards have indeed evolved. They threw away their procrastinating ways and enthused procaffeinating ways with desirable end results- snel en precisie. They are quick and precise  and all I can say is - OMG that's so anti- Filipino time!  

What is Filipino Time? Here is one example to describe it.  Let's pretend I have an appointment at 8 am and  when I arrive :
Early - means I made it at 7.59 
On time- I made it there between  8.00 to 8.05 
Late- 20 minutes have passed , I still haven't arrived because of traffic, maybe will be there in another ten minutes 
Very late- - one hour have passed, still not there because there was no Taxi available and traffic was  bumper to bumper 

Here in the Netherlands, everything is laid out in detail of quantity and quality and  I have come to realise that here, time is equally precious as gold. It  costs money and for a standard dutch treat, it can be very expensive. Because of that,  everything must be accurately calculated. For instance, how much time you have to bike from home to the train station, how  far  the distance you have to travel from one city to the next,  how much longer in minutes and seconds you have to wait in a queue, at what time the rain will pour and end, how much a kilo of meat costs so therefore it costs this much in x grams,  even how many kilowatts of electricity you have to consume in a year!  (wheew!)  When back in the Philippines the only way to tell that I consumed a lot of electricity was because my bill from Meralco went over 3,000 pesos or I could tell I travelled a long way was because I sat in the bus for eight hours (geeessh) 

To sum up this third part of my opposites game as  Greengrass O'hopper , I have  unraveled  important things beneath the surface and have come to realise them clear as crystal. The need to refrain from a rather slow-motion,  laid-back life which is a luxury and the need to reconfigure, to reboot , to adapt , to be reinvented and be like snappy and precise Aunty Ant.

The opposite Game Part 2- Quiet Versus Outspoken

Priest: Why do you want to divorce your husband?
Woman: Because I can't take him anymore.
Priest: Why can't you take him anymore?
Woman: We fight a lot, and more often about the smallest things...
Priest: Like what, tell me more.
Woman: More than a dozen of times I have reminded my husband to squeeze the toothpaste properly, not in the middle of the tube, but he does it all the time!

That woman is not me but in more ways I am in a similar situation to  her. I said that  because of the  petty fights I have with  my husband.   Ours is not all about a toothpaste but we can pick up small fights from a number of household and personal items. Such as the sugar content in an orange juice drink or even  my chosen ringer sound for notifications. Few times we argued about security and PUK codes on our iphones. TV is the usual starting point of our fight.  More often it begins small and then gradually,  becomes explosive like the dreaded atomic bomb.

As I have mentioned on my first post, the fairy tale chapter of our love story already ended because this is now the reality.  A kind of reality more of a punch on my face because for yelling it out loud - my husband and I are in fact, two different persons. We got along well because we have something in common. Well for the newlywed couples out there, you better  braise yourselves  for this piece of advise:  You will get to know your  real partner once you both live under one roof.

And what did I find out big time about my husband? Now  I know he is a complete opposite of me because while I keep quiet,  he just keeps yapping. No longer I am feeling grateful to be off working as a teacher and listening to  65 kids and 6 co-teachers . Here I can hear my husband give feedback, justify, analyse, complain, stress and moan. Honestly, it is like hearing  my  students and co-teachers all over again.

"The quietest people have the loudest minds"

Thank you pinterest for those rejuvenating words.  Mulling it over gave  me  a feeling of relief. It has made me reach a certain understanding and acceptance of two things I cannot change - first is the culture I have been immersed in.  Second and  more importantly, my Introvert Personality. Those are two must-remember things to tell myself  the next moment   I gaze in the  self-reflection mirror. 

I-N-T-R-O-V-E-R-T- Yes , that is what makes up maybe a big percentage of my personality that is  starting to show up again. Putting it in Johari's  window panes , my introvert personality was once chucked into the blind spot area after gaining enough experiences and skills working for a multicultural school in Manila. Since I have moved out of Manila and the comfort zone I know is now about  six thousand miles away from me, that introvert self is gradually moving back to where it used to belong - it is now exposed in public and going virally known to all!

"May, you've got to think out loud more often!", that was the advice I heard from a former expat boss eleven years ago. Come to think of it, I am hearing it again. This time from the person I sleep and wake up with everyday- my husband.  

For an introvert person like me,  living in a foreign community that is mostly dominated by people who are outspoken makes me think that I am less capable of many things. I basically need time to think before I communicate. For some reasons,When I am bombarded with questions that I have to answer shortly afterwards,  I cannot fully express myself. Is there something wrong with me? Of course, I cannot live everyday of my life believing that something is wrong with me. So I give it a thought and I try to give justice to the alarming question I often ask myself instead of believing that it will just hold me back. 

I came across Susan Cain's analysis of the introvert personality in her book ' Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking' . The title itself already strikes me with a thunderbolt because the Dutch community is mostly populated by extroverts and they are  talking out loud.  NON-STOP.

Amazing and at the same time, interesting. Putting it in my own analysis , Dutch extroverts probably have their brains' neurological wires  directly connected to their vocal cords. Compared to mine,  where maybe just  a few  are plugged in straight to my vocal cords and the rest   are distributed to my other sensorial organs. However, the next thing to ponder on is whether the real culprit to loudness  is a massive load of coffee drinking. (Hmmm... I better drink more coffee then)

Going back to Susan Cain's book, I have read that Asians have this common trait known as 'quiet persistence'.  One significant point I read is that Asians, if allowed to be quiet, are able to effectively solve problems compared to westerners , who generally think out loud when solving problems. After reading this, in my head I quietly screamed - HOW TRUE! This comparison between Asians and  Caucasians were studied by educational researchers to see how cultural background affect learning in school. That was a compelling  read that made me think about interracial couples,  myself and my husband as one good example. At home, my husband and I can attest that each of us have distinctive ways of drawing out solutions to problems. Our approaches are so far apart that these can obviously manifest our opposite personalities and so the battle begins between the  introvert versus the extrovert. As I have provided enough information, you can quickly take  a good guess who (between my husband and I)   is who. 

Without bashing more on extroverts , what matters the most  is  how to  even out cultural differences and this is belangrijk (important) particularly  to married couples who have different cultural backgrounds.  I  may sound like I am in a complicated situation  here since I mentioned how  reality is like a painful punch but to survive, just simply  punch back. No Pain , no gain.

During our quiet moments ( yes my husband can be quiet too) I have had serious talks with my husband who is after all  a  sweet ,  caring  and supportive husband  (not to forget to mention - gwapo too). In his most philosophical moment , this is what he said, Let us  learn to celebrate our differences. So we asked  this question to ourselves- What is it in Dutch and  the Filipino Culture we feel most proud of ? We did not talk about our own culture but instead I enumerated what I observed about the Dutch that I like best, then my husband talked about what he most appreciated  in my culture. On my own standpoint,  I  observed that  the Dutch are  straightforward but in a constructive way. They generally take criticisms lightheartedly, compared  to  Filipinos who are  on the other hand, sensitive onions. TAMPO is how we call it in Tagalog and I cannot find a precise definition in English since it is a native characteristic common to the Filipino culture. When my tampo button is on, this signals that I am angry and that husband will be ignored all day. It has often driven my husband crazy so he quickly found ways that I cannot switch on that tampo button. For my part, I have to understand that I cannot behave like a sensitive onion all the time. 'It just doesn't help', as Sandra, a pinay  in the neighborhood who has been married for four years,  advised me.

Then my husband's turn, he told me how he admired Filipinos to be happy, smiling individuals  that even in times of calamities, they can still manage to shrug off the hardship by cracking jokes and taking selfies. Contrast to the Dutch people who are constantly complaining 24/7, maybe even in their sleep . If I have the tampo button, my husband has the KLAGEN button. Klagen is the dutch word that means 'to complain' in english. My duty as a responsible wife is to keep my husband away from pushing this button. To do this is simple, just allow to  fully activate my brain wire connections to the vocal cords and  with all my might, call out these words - 'SHUT UP' then he puts on an imaginary straight jacket.

My husband and I are indeed two different persons but  we have decided to  embrace our differences with courage instead of take it with fear and lose courage.  I just have to begin to build up my comfort zone again, slowly but surely  pull out my shyness in public and throw it back to the blind spot. Give it some time. Work hard so soon I can feel  home in this loud Dutch community, no matter how quiet I am. 

The Opposite Game - part 1

If I were to compare Manila to the city where  I live now -Assen,  the examples I can come up with are  in extremes that you can imagine  these  two cities in opposing poles. In general, Philippines and The Netherlands are so different in many ways. For almost a month of  inhabiting  Assen , I can already name heaps of things that are so unlike to what I have been accustomed to in Manila. It makes me think of a game I played as a child- the opposites game. How I played it with my playmates ? Well,  we would say one thing and would  mean  the opposite and it would carry on  for the entire day. Now in real life,  I want to think that I am just playing the opposite game. The only big difference is that I am a full grown adult now and I am no longer pretending of the opposites because the present situation now is that whatever I can see ,  feel, hear, touch  are this time the opposites  of what  I have learnt and understood by heart.  What strikes the most is that this is the reality now for me but I prefer to think of this reality as the opposite game.  That way it is just like swallowing  a sweet sour candy instead of a jagged bitter pill. Though every once in a while this reality attacks  viciously on my awareness as I ponder to myself- ' for  how long do I have  to  play this game?'  Surely, it does not just  last for a day because maybe I will have to play it  for the rest of my life. Then my panic self posts the next question,  " how long does it take YOU to endure this game?"

Anyway,  to lighten things up, I try to put my analytic cap on while looking at how interesting it can be to experience the 'opposites':

 HEATER vs AC 

Let's take one good look at -TEMPERATURE. Say someone from Manila would like me to give them a  vivid description of  Holland;  as quick as a speeding bullet, the cold temperature is the very first thing that will come to my mind. At this exact time in Manila, people are screaming 'Ang init!' (so hot)  while the Dutch curses 'zo koud!' (so cold). The summer weather in Manila is scorching hot that  everyone there must be seeking the comforts of their air-conditioned rooms in 16-degree temperature.  Now here  in Assen the outdoor temperature is 18 degrees and where am I?  I am in the refuge of our cozy home with the heater on at 18 degrees. Come to think of it-  warmth and humidity are so scarce here  that for each  time I turn the heater on   means adding more  digits to our electric bill. Contrary to tropical Manila ,  a higher Meralco bill means regular use of the AC overnight! 

THE DUTCH TREAT vs THE FILIPINO TREAT 

In the Naar Nederland book I remember reading this - 'Je krijgt maar een koekje bij de thee'. This statement points to a commonly known  dutch habit where a cookie is usually offered next to  tea or coffee.   Often referred  to as the dutch treat and  widely understood by many as being stingy.  In Tagalog , we say 'kuripot'. On my husband's defense, " it is not stingy but conserving " , a practical  habit  that may well  be traced back to its  low country origin of flat and below sea level areas. Polders and dikes made most of Holland up, als het staat onder water! (or it goes underwater)  and a big percentage of its land mass were reclaimed out of lakes and seas. Flooding became obviously a common disaster between the 11th century until the early fifties. The Dutch must have felt painful losses but they  also realize that suffering is optional so the problem was dealt with thorough care and  it brought great impact to the development of  their commerce, infrastructure and economy. Due to flooding, livelihood then  must be  rather  difficult thus I speculate it must have lead these people to become practical rather than extravagant. 

Sufficing the cookie-tea example, I got a better view of  the 'dutch' treat in action when I was invited  in a  birthday party. First of all, attending  a birthday celebration for a true-blood pinoy like me is like entering an eat-all-you can restaurant. Other than carrying a gift and a mental list of karaoke songs, the most important thing to remember is to arrive at the function with an empty stomach. A pinoy birthday is celebrated with glorious, upsized  courses that is beyond measure.  In Holland unfortunately, birthday and feast are two things that do not go together. Make this a warning to everyone-  never attempt to skip your regular meal before attending a dutch birthday party.  Here is how a feestje (party) is celebrated in Holland : 

-guests greet the celebrant, 'Gefeliciteerd!'  

-everyone stay around the living room 

-beer and nibbles are  served

-everyone are  engaged in uninterrupted guttural chit-chats

-beer is finished

-time to go home

**To be continued on my next post  - The opposite game 2 

From Manila to Amsterdam

Mabuhay everyone! I am May , 36 years old from the Philippines. Back in Manila, I have worked as a teacher for more than 15 years. My interests include a wide range of things such as art, music, dance, fitness and travel. However, what you might  find interesting about me is the seven-year long distance relationship I  maintained with my husband. 

Yes, you heard it right! Seven arduous years of living apart from my partner which may as well be broken down to 5 years of dating and 2 years of being married. The power of internet of course brought possibilities to our once hopeless situation.  Above all, we followed the summon of our willing minds and longing  hearts. For those years that  we were apart we traveled  to be with each other's company and for few weeks managed to slash  the gap of  10, 385 kilometers in distance and 6 hours in time difference. 

But alas! Those seven years have finally come to an end! The bittersweet fruit of patience was just right for picking when we drew nearer to the finale of the  immigration process. On February 27, I arrived at Schiphol bearing an  MVV sticker on my passport. I hope that would  be the last time I had to be picked up then dropped off again to Schiphol.  The moment I saw my husband,  I felt  like a damsel in distress who was  finally rescued by my prince charming. If we were in a fairy tale, the last page of our story must have ended right there . It was the end of our  ‘happily ever after’ but our real-life journey  is just about to begin….

From here onward,  I plan to detail  most  of my  personal recounts and reflections as a newbie resident, a rookie wife and maybe soon, as a novice employee or perhaps a first time mom (who knows..)  I am a neophyte , inside and out. It has just been two weeks since I arrived so I am still basically someone who lived most of her life on the other side of the world. Where do I put the blame ? To the  laws of nature for making everything on that other side of the globe completely the opposite of the life I have to live here ? Before my sanity breaks loose,  here is a gentle reminder to self - HASTE NOT! Nature also dictates that gradual adaptation takes time and  time is of essence in rebooting one's consciousness. For now, I just have to sit back , relax, chill in the cold climate and enjoy what this land ( the 'Holy Land' as my dad would always proclaim),  well known for windmills, tulips , its abundant staple of coffee and cheese has to offer :)